Archive

For November, 2009

Nov 30

Webisode Season

By Jon Hartley4 Comments

There’s a debate raging here at BroBomb World Headquarters over the direction of our site. The “high road” approach, as advocated by Barberdude, would have us stick to highlighting what is good in the ski world (i.e. Surface, The TC, RAR edits, G. Russell, etc…). The devil on my shoulder is, of course, Mr. Casula; who advocates a “git em where they live” approach to hating on all the clowns who have been weighing down our game since before Tanner put beeswax on them golden locks.

When I got an email from Chris that said, “See ‘chug life’?…TJ Schiller is fucking wearing all of his sponsor gear…including skull candy headphones…eww.” I knew something had to be done, or I’d risk having him “go rogue” on me, and we all know how that can turn out.

The first official webisode is due some time today, but given the brotastic nature of the minisode; it’s obvious that we have to step in early. The video in question is part of an annoying trend that has commercials parading as user-generated content. Let’s hope for an improved performance, but if this is any indication it might actually get worse. So I give you the five things to ask yourself before you utter the words “Chug Life is good/funny/tolerable” ever again:

• “Is this a ski vid-blog or Phi Delta Kappa’s open mic comedy night?”
• “If I wasn’t so predisposed to metaphorically sucking pro wieners, wouldn’t I promptly leave any bar these guys walked into?”
• “Didn’t TJ Schiller pick a design that looks like every ski Armada has ever made?”
• “Why is that helmet with the Monster and Dragon logos sitting on Chug’s desk…and why is TJ wearing a jacket, hat, and headphones?”
• “Does anyone else think this is as funny as Cosco and Schiller seem to?”

Wish list for Episode 7: Less laughing at your own jokes, less obvious product placement, and more funny. We’ll see.

Late edit: It got worse. Way worse. We’re apparently in for a tame Jackass ripoff. Just when I thought skiing was catching up with the rest of the world…Chug goes and copies something that was hot in 2002. Keep drinking boys, something funny is bound to happen eventually.

Nov 29

This is not skiing. It is skateboarding.

By Jon HartleyNo Comments

A short skateboard video from Salazar Productions .

Nov 27

Casual Fridays 8

By chrasual2 Comments

Brobomb Ski Blog Casual Fridays

Chick’s dig ski bums. Actually, seeing as how I can’t ski, that statement could be broadened to include the entire Bum Nation. It’s truly heartachingly beautiful to see a gal go from standoffish and disinterested to biting her bottom lip when she learns that you’re on a journey of self-discovery with no real destination. Seriously, “I’ve been sleeping in my car for five days” is the new “What’s your sign?”—provided of course that your car is niceish, you can grow a legit ginger beard, and you show up at hipster clubs and spit game to chicks that voted for Obama and/or have an ironic tattoo. You can practically see the “My parents will hate you…swooooooon” thought bubble appear just above their dramatic bangs. They really don’t stand a chance.

He could be slayin' these hoes if he would stop rambling about the CIA and Agent Orange.
He could be slayin’ these hoes if he would stop rambling about the CIA and Agent Orange.

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Nov 26

Happy Thanksgiving

By Jon Hartley3 Comments

BroBomb-Ski-Blog-Gives-Thanks

 

 

 

Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Hate is our primary game here at BroBomb, but even we’ve got to give a little thanks. We’ve gotten tons of love from the ski community, and some other community that shall be unnamed due to something they call “street cred.” I’ve never heard of it, but I hope it’s worth not being thanked on Thanksgiving. Without further ado, here are the things we’re thankful for:

 

  1. All you readers who keep coming back to check us out. It’d be a lot harder to write all this witty drivel if nobody was reading.
  2. Our new mystery editor that is shaping up the site and guiding us towards legitness.
  3. Edits by: Garrett Russell, CASG, Traveling Circus, Surface Crew, Nick Hickling, and anybody else who finds a way to deviate from the boring march of FS swaps and Biggie remixes.
  4. All the companies and athletes that have taken a second to sit down with an unknown website. We’re not sure if they believe in our content, or just pursue shameless self-promotion at all levels…but it really doesn’t matter to us.
  5. All you jokers that are just dying to buy some ad space and make us all RICH!!!
Nov 25

News and Rumors

By Jon Hartley3 Comments

I have to be at work early this morning and have no time to write anything. Luckily, I’ve started receiving news feeds from all over the snowsports world since I started this blog. I thought I’d pass this one along to you. I can’t vouch for its absolute truth, but I’m inclined to trust anything deemed worthy of internet circulation. If you decide to repost it in your favorite forum, be sure to mention that it’s 100% true. Check it out:

Print

For immediate release- Urban Outfitters, the Philadelphia-based makers of all things hip, is planning to expand its reach to more extreme clientele. Last winter, Urban started a pilot program to sponsor snowboarders. The project wasn’t immediately announced to the public, because Urban’s management wanted the transition from waterproof-breathable materials to cotton-based sweat sponges to seem organic and “cool.”

“It’s really been an easy transition. We noticed that skateboarders were wearing our clothes, but snowboarding was sticking to those polyester-based fashion nightmares,” says Don Imfake, Marketing Director for the brand. “We knew if we got one or two guys out there in Where the Wild Things Are t-shirts and skinny jeans, the rest would follow.”

The effect has been astounding; a sport that invariably takes place on frozen water has shunned modern advancements in waterproof textiles. Ivan Notreal, of the US Snow Patrollers Association, has noticed the change, “My patrollers are treating twice the amount of frostbite cases as compared to just two years ago. We’ve also taken to carrying sewing needles and patch kits to help snowboarders whose pants are so tight they’ve ripped. It’s a whole new world out there for a patroller.”

The danger of this new trend is limited now, as snowboarding is just a passing craze like Pogs and Pokemon, but what if it infects an actual sport– like skiing?

We asked Don if he thought it was possible– “We’ve found skiing to be highly receptive to the idea. We didn’t even have to sponsor any of their pros specifically. They seemed to just naturally copy what the snowboarders were doing. Fascinating, really.”

It could always be worse:

Nov 24

Disabled List: Boot Feet

By Matt Barber15 Comments

Brobomb-Disabled-List

 “You see those bones sticking out, those aren’t my ankles and yeah, I got a bone growth there and there and I also got bunions on my pinky toes.” A gasp by a bootfitter usually follows as I reveal my “double ankle”, bunionette, supinated, and bone growth laden feet. These nasty feet have kept me close to the disabled list for 10 years now and something needs to change.

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Nov 23

Call It a Comeback

By Jon Hartley6 Comments

Brobomb Ski Blog Droppin Science

On another site, somewhere in cyberspace, there may or may not be an article accusing skiing of ripping off some thing or another. I’m not saying I’ve read it, what I’m saying is that it’s a possibility. People write articles all the time, and there are still vestiges of the dark days of snomophobia hanging around.

In the recent past, anti-skiing articles have inspired angry e-mobs of adolescents self-consciously defending their “lifestyle.” In an effort to save us all from that type of torch-bearing mob mentality I give you this article. You can just paste the URL into the comments when you see skiscrimination at work, and feel as cool and confident as those vampires you all like so much these days.

Despite skiing’s best efforts, and there have been some solid efforts, it’s experiencing somewhat of a revival. Call it a rebirth, resurgence, reinvention, but don’t call it a comeback…it’s been here for years. Actually “ski comeback” is exactly what it’s called (with apologies to LL Cool J). Skiing in general is off of life support, and its “newschool” offspring is fighting through its pimple-faced teenage years and going strong.

brobomb ski blog radio ron

As the newest incarnation of freestyle skiing, we love to take the credit. Twins are selling like crazy, contests are seeing national air time, and pros are gaining recognition outside our niche. Some shop dude even told me that Line is soon to join the ranks of top-selling ski brands in the nation (completely unconfirmed). However, it’s not tricks, style, outerwear, or Tom Wallisch on MTV2 that’s saving skiing. Everyone could ski and look like Radio Ron (probably an improvement) and there’d still be “ski comeback.”

The catalyst for revival is a potent combo of two horrific forces: fat kids and jester hats! No matter what sport is groovy, hip, fresh, or the bee’s knees — rich parents will bring their kid to the mountain. The spoiled brat will want to do whatever sport appears in the most Mountain Dew commercials, and his/her parents WILL buy that kid a fuzzy jester hat.

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Nov 22

It’s Dumpin in the PNW

By Jon Hartley5 Comments

I’m loving these Right as Rain edits. This one kinda makes me sick since it’s about 60 degrees outside my door, and they’re damn near buried. The song doesn’t push my buttons, but Nick’s got leftover cool points for using “Taper Jean Girl” last time. Happy Sunday everybody, the edit’s about 4 minutes long so it’ll fit right into the football commercials.

Nov 20

Casual Fridays 7

By chrasual7 Comments

Brobomb Ski Blog Casual Fridays

Jon’s Monday-Mashup got me thinking. Sure, I don’t have a camera, I can’t ski, and I’m not famous, but a quick perusal of youtube videos uploaded by 16 year old girls (by accident….honest) convinced me that none of those things are prerequisites for making a self-indulgent and questionably interesting video blog thing.

I’m still on the road, presently in Portland, and yes it’s apocalyptically gray. I like it. I’ve been here less than 24 hrs., I’ve made friends, eaten Poutine for the first time (Canucks just slid past the Dutch into 7th place of people I like the most), and seen a hip up-and-coming band play a “show.” I’d say we’re doing alright.

If you’re in any way affiliated with law enforcement, I want to assure you that despite appearances, I am in fact NOT texting, iPoding, macbooking, GPSing, rapping, and driving at the same time. Mom, I’m wearing my seatbelt.

Anyway, for those of you who couldn’t join me on this little mission, I put together a visual summary of my trip. If you loop this video for the next 15 hours, it’ll be like you were riding shotgun—in England, because my macbook mirrors everything.

There’s something extra special about 2/3rds of the way through.

 ***P.S. This is an official demand for a ski/boot/outerwear/eyewear/energy drink sponsorship for both Jon and myself. I’m serious.

Jon’s progressive riding/writing, coupled with whatever it is that I do, has gone unnoticed for far too long. We’re taste makers—trend-setters if you will. We’re willing to sellout, though.

 I have a dramatic/tragic past, felony arrests, stints in rehab, and I rap. Should I start a ski-beef? Jacob Wester is a pretentious tool. Blao. Skiing needs a Suge Knight. Which core companies are going to step up and do the right thing?


Nov 18

The Tribes

By Jon Hartley2 Comments

 barberpow  I recently took a holiday-season job at a national outdoor outfitter. They shall remain nameless, because just last week a VP from Marketing showed up to tell all the new hires that there are company guidelines on blogging. I didn’t bother to read them, so I have no idea if BroBomb meets the criteria. For $9 an hour I don’t really care.

The job has put me in contact with enthusiasts of some outdoor sports that I have no interest in doing, and a different breed of skier/snowboarder than I tend to find myself in contact with. The coolest dudes are the “backcountry” characters. Everything they do happens outside of any “bounds.” They thru-hike, climb, camp, and respond to every question with a mellow head nod and, “fer sher, fer sher.” They’re wells of knowledge wrapped in Marmot or Arcteryx. These cool cats have been teaching me about water purification and “randonee” bindings. They were even kind enough not to laugh (too hard) when I didn’t realize the word was/is pronounced “randonay.”

The snowboarders in this backcountry tribe ride split-boards, which are both strange and fascinating contraptions. I can’t deny that it gives me some small bit of pleasure to know that they still have to use skis in order to get up the hill, and through some convoluted technology they are able to switch back. With all the “skiers copy snowboarders” realities of the past decade, it’s nice to know that there’s something skis will always do better.

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