Selling Out in 2010

By Jon Hartley6 Comments

 dumont pox brobomb

I’ve had a question on my mind for a little while now, and watching the Dew/Tostinos/NBC Tour brought it up over and over again. I doubt it’s something that bothers the youngest snow sports fans at all, as they’ve grown up in this world. But as someone with a clear memory of the latter 90’s and early part of our quickly-fading “00” decade, I can’t help but wonder what has changed. Do we live in a post-sellout world? Is there anything skiers, or any other action sports icons, could do that would constitute selling out?

It used to be such a hot topic in so many different areas. If a rapper sung his own hook, he had sold out. Or if some indie band signed with a major label and put out an album that sold more than ten copies, they definitely sold out. Now we’ve got Weezy and Kanye crooning through an Autotuner, and indie rock is the only thing with guitars that sells (new country doesn’t count).

shaun white pipe brobomb

Enough with the music analogy, so what would it require for a skier to be a sellout these days? Do we look to snowboarding for our cues on this one? I remember snowboarders lining up on different sides of the Olympics debate, and accusations of selling out the sport were thrown around. Now we’ve got Red Bull building Shaun White a pipe, and nobody bats an eye. If ski superpipe ever makes the Olympics, would there be any dissent in the ranks? The older generation might raise the old FIS killed freestyle argument, but would anyone in the current generation listen? How about sponsorships, is there a corporation so heinous that we’d scream “sellout” if a Dumont signed with them?

I’ve compiled a list of hypotheticals, you tell me if it’s even possible to be a sellout: 

-  Tom Wallisch admitted that he holds poles because the judges like it, but later he reveals that he will replace one pole with a can of Monster when he rides slopestyle.

-  Simon Dumont gets tiny red Target logos tattooed all over his face and claims it’s just a rare form of the chicken pox.

-  Tanner Hall promotes a line of dreadlock wigs in a series of daytime TV ads.

-  Orage brings back Siver, but the only jacket they produce is a black and gray fleece that is marketed to fraternities with the slogan “Respect the Of A Revolutionaries.”

-  Freeskier puts out the “Chevy Truck Month” Photo Annual with pics of Eric Pollard pulling his snowmobiles with a different truck on each page.

-  Jon Olsson was once called a sellout for signing with J. Lindeberg and wearing pink; what if he starts promoting a line of rustic home-goods for IKEA called “Yniqly Jon.”

-  Newschoolers starts banning posts that criticize its ad sponsors, and the “reviews” page is renamed the “Good Vibe Experience Journal.”

Posted in: brain hurricane, the soapbox

6 Comments to “Selling Out in 2010”

  1. brooke says:

    Is this like a “which one of these things is actually true” game? I am going to go with the target tattoos then, since there is clearly photographic proof of that one.

  2. global playboy says:

    I want them to make as much money the more money they make the more they are able to promote the sport

    Bernard Berrian of the minnesota vikings makes 12 million a yr and can’t hang on to a pass

    anybody not wanting them to make alot of money is jealous are they better than the top 30 freestyle skiers of the 80s 90s no way but the more they make the more it helps the sport
    So get off u butt and get out and catch some air

  3. Rogge says:

    ‘Newschoolers starts banning posts that criticize its ad sponsors, and the “reviews” page is renamed the “Good Vibe Experience Journal.”’

    Enjoyed that one.

  4. Ignoring the inconsistencies in how you punctuated the ends of your bullets was one issue, but the comma splice in your Jon comment is an unforgivable sin.

    By definition, a comma splice constitutes two independent clauses that are separated solely by a comma. To fix this, you have four options. One, you can replace the comma with a period, and capitalize the following letter. This will make two sentances. Two, you could replace the comma with a semicolon. Three, you could replace the comma with an em-dash. Not some pussy ass en-dash (only used between two numbers), but a fully fledged em-dash. Four, you can add a conjunction after the comma. The acronym FANBOYS (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) is a great way to remember your conjunctions.

    I hope all your ski days are deep, and that all your comma splices die horrible, painful deaths.

  5. Jon Hartley says:

    Our very own grammarian! I’m so pumped, I thought we’d never get you. Thanks, and I think it’s all patched up.

  6. chrasual says:

    Earnest misspelled “sentence”. His face.

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