In my virgin BroBomb article, I outlined several predictions for the coming ski season.  First among them was that “poor is the new cool.”  This might be the beginning of a mid-season retrospective analyzing how each of my prophecies was panning out. I’m going to begin with a quick recap of the Traveling Circus’ webisodes to see how they are managing from a quality of life standpoint.

The TC crew got outfitted with brand new bright Orage gear for the season, which has done much to mask their ghetto standards.  Andy’s new clean blue and red get-up is a far cry from last seasons’s rolled up baby blues that looked like they had seen more use than the inside of his sleeping bag and the soles of his easy walker sneakers put together.  However, as evidenced in Episode 4, Andy, Will and the gang are still sleeping on floors, in cars, and in ski patrol bomb shelters, while eating pb & j’s for breakfast, lunch & dinner.  With all this success and fame, wouldn’t they have upgraded their quality of life?  Then it came to me, a moment of business clarity:  they could get away with being much poorer.

Given the extended traveling range of the TC crew this year and the fact that no money is being spent on niceties like a motel room or real food, I can only come to the conclusion that the Traveling Circus is spending their entire budget on gas (Fig. 1).  But with a nominal investment on Line’s part, Andy & Will’s sedans could be converted to run on veggie oil, virtually eliminating their fuel costs (Fig. 2 below).  Veggie oil, commonly collected from restaurant frialators, is still completely free and just takes some dedication and a little sweet-talking to get.  This genius plan would cut out the largest expense of Line’s investment in the show, all the while relying on TC’s already-established expertise in sifting through fast food dumpsters for goodies.  Line could be looking at a long-term sponsorship deal with a successful film crew costing them only $73.80 an episode, or the cost of a crate of instant noodles, which, given print’s often outrageous ad fees, would give them more exposure per dollar than any ski company in history.  Not to mention the green credibility Line would gain by forcing two college graduate ski bums to find their own fuel.  I hope this serves as a wake-up call to Jason, Josh, and the rest of the crew at Line to stop wasting so much money on these pork-barrel swindlers and join the smart, swift, and ruthless corporate ethos of the 21^st century.  I only ask a portion of the saved costs as compensation for my consulting services.  Or a Jib Hoodie (in large).