April, 2010

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Know Your Roots: Parkasaurus

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Know-Your-Roots-Header

In the early evolutionary years of newschool skiing, there was one beast of an event that brought together the leaders and young guns of skiing. In some sort of Darwinian process, the likes of Tanner Hall, David Crichton, Pep Fujas and Simon Dumont made names for themselves while the brick layers of skiing, like the Three Phils, JF Cusson and Vinnie Dorion, continued to push the sport forward. This hallowed event’s scientific name is: Parkasaurus.

NickMerconTransferMercon gaps a dinosaur  p: Freeze.com (extinct)

Each year, from 2000 to 2003, Parkasaurus would appear at Snow Summit CA. Organized by FREEZE magazine (RIP), it was an event that brought together top skiers, filmers, and photographers to evolve skiing without competition. It was said in the historical pages of FREEZE, “Events like the U.S. Open and X Games establish the best athletes in a competitive environment, but Parkasaurus is a place where creativity oozes like spaghetti sauce from everyone’s pores.” It was a time before edits, so the creative beast could only be seen when films were released and photos were published. Many important milestones were reached at Parkasaurus events, like Tanner landing the first disaster switch 450 on 270 off, CR sliding the first 50-50, Jon McMurray backflip disaster, JF Cusson and Philou slaying the first rainbow and battleship rails, Crichton’s massive halfpipe airs, and the infamous transfer gap over an inflatable dinosaur.

Tanner450on270offSpecies: Tanner Hall  p: Freeze.com (extinct)

As we get nostalgic and unearth Parkasaurus, there is much to discover from evidence left behind in issues of Freeze and early Poor Boyz films like The Game, Propaganda, Happy Days, and Sterotype. First of all, we need to refocus on unifying park shoots again. By necessity, skiing park shoots brought every crew together in the early years.  Now, we have little niches and film crews shooting on their own, but nothing brings about more creativity than putting together an entire ski community. Yes, we have JOSS and a ton of park shoots for each film company, but none that brings all of them together without competition.

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Surface Shreds BC

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

The Surface crew does some skateboarding, gets mellow at the Orage Masters, and hits up the Whistler park. Filming and editing by Mr. Evan Heath.

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Midwest Superpark

Tuesday, April 27th, 2010

Mike Kvackay sent over this edit of his homies in the great flatlands of the Midwest. It’s his first year filming, but he’s a brave soul and down for some constructive criticism. Enjoy and help Mike out:

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Thuggery 101

Monday, April 26th, 2010

Skiing has become home to some of the more bizarre examples of snow thuggery. It’d be hard to name a video (not you TGR) that doesn’t have someone twisting their fingers up into some sort of meaningless symbol. That said, you’ll be surprised to hear that I think we need way more gangsterism. Way more.

We recently did an interview with a dude that prides himself on being rather “hood” or whatever silly word he used. When Ryan asked him what the most ghetto thing he ever did was, he responded, “We met some crazy cats in Boston that own a clothing shop. They took our photo and put it up next to a photo of Ludacris.” Sounds scary.

With ski thuggery in such a sad state, here are a few tips to help you actually scare a few people:

  • Drop the damn sewing needles: Your home-stitched tall hoodie says, “I am in my mom’s church sewing club,” not “thug life.” Once you’ve sat down with needle, thread, and some fabulous purple fabric that you found at the craft store, your thug bonafides are dead forever.
  • Neck lifts: When your chicken neck pops out from all that huge outerwear, it’s a dead giveaway. If you’re really going to scare somebody, they’ll need to believe that you’re filling out that jacket with dieselness, not six baselayers and four tall-T’s.
  • Tattoos: Now that you’ve got your linebacker neck, you’ll need some trashy ink. The neck is a prerequisite for thuggin’, and it’s the only spot you can reasonably flash at a camera when you’re suited up in ski gear. A baby-mama’s name in cursive or that sad-Jesus face will do just fine.

Just a few more necklifts and he's good.

Just a few more necklifts and he's good.

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Jackson Hole Does Gaper Day

Friday, April 23rd, 2010

I’ve seen many a Gaper Day, but these Jackson Hole locals do it right. You tend to see too many people half-stepping it with park skis and SPKs below their Wrangler jeans. These guys give 110% and bust out the 200+ straight sticks with some backdoor loaders. Ghost-ridin’ the boot at 1:40 deserves special attention– next level shit!

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Of Divas, Jocks, and JOSS

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

What happens when you gather a handful of athletes that take themselves too seriously, throw in a gaggle of media personnel that would never dare deflate the egos of those they so proudly call friends, and one bizarre Swedish diva event host? JOSS, of course.  Add a once-in-a-century volcanic eruption that strands all those chuckleheads in Europe, and you’ve got a volatile combination.

jon_lambo

Just by writing this I run the real risk of giving you the impression that any of this matters. It doesn’t. However, the situation with Team America releasing their edit too early, Jon writing a strongly worded letter, and then Tom and Simon’s agents writing a pretty silly response for them has really helped me understand what is so annoying about our sport’s primadonnas.

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BroBomb Super Sessions

Tuesday, April 20th, 2010

The first annual, and yet legendary, BroBomb Super Sessions culminated in an electric event of glitz and glamour at Austria’s aptly named ‘Austrian Haus.’ With epicness and electricity in such over abundance, the atmosphere could only be described as epilectric!

SuperSessions3

There were beautiful women everywhere, although we didn’t see any. Much like the feather in Jossi Wells’ fancy little derby hat, it’d be an honor to take home the  coveted title of champion, but it’s extra special to win an award not presented by anybody named West or Van Valin.

SuperSessions6

We would like to thank ourselves for putting on the most epic, coolest, friendliest, and most masturbatory event of the season. Enjoy:

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Jon Hartley Probably Hates This Already

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

Jon and the gang would never post this video because it contains:

1. Big clothing

2. Rap music

3. Simon Dumont

But that being said, I have a nifty login here at BroBomb and damn it, I’m using it. Enjoy the 2010 Team America JOSS Edit. God knows Jon won’t.

-Rogge

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The Orage Masters Happened

Sunday, April 18th, 2010

The Orage Masters happened in the Whistler village. We’re not much for boring “results” lists, so you can get all the actual info here. After checking in on the live stream sporadically through the event, there are several things that are clear:

1. Whistler ain’t Mammoth. From my living room it looked like it was raining.

umbrella

2. Cross Dressing like an 80’s rocker still gets the girl in 2010.

BBB_0911

3. Mimes are creepy. Andy Parry mimes are EXTRA creepy!

parry mime

4. We need more anti-comps.

5. A non-lethal vocal chord injury to Mr. Van Valin might work out for all of us.

All pics courtesy of Mr. Felix Rioux, enjoy:

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Guide to the Ski Internet: NS vs. TGR

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

For the vast majority of the skiing population, days on snow are limited to weekends and vacations, with the bulk of the week spent in school texting the girl in the front row or at work complaining about your spouse.  Thus, many comb the internet for ski content to satisfy their vicarious cravings until the next time they click in.

In an age where even multinational corporations put so much emphasis on social media that they’ll pay some idiot to Tweet about iced coffee because they can’t figure out how to communicate in brief and misspelled spurts of grammar, your online ski persona can do as much to dictate your standing in the ski community as your actual skiing skills.  So take heed of the following advice, which will help you manage your internet skiing career from your first post on NS as a toddler to your last avi forecast on TGR as a crinkly, bitter, randonee-ing old man.

Newschoolers collage

Newschoolers

So you’ve grown old enough (7) for your parents to give you a MacBook, an iPhone, and that matching XXXL teal-colored suit you wanted for Christmas that sags on your 130 pounds like a wet mop.  You took some ski lessons way back when, but haven’t used your poles in any functional role since. It’s time to get online.

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