BroBomb

Jockfest Rests For A Weekend: Orage Masters

By Jon Hartley5 Comments

orage masters

It’s been a long season of competitions, and let me tell you—ignoring them all is really hard work. We can all sing a happy song now that the Dumont Cup is over, and that ego-fest out in Sweden will be wrapping up in the next couple months. I’ll keep praying that those two budgets get rolled into one massive Jon/Simon strokefest DVD, making them easier to ignore, but in the meantime we can all bask in the pink glory that is the Orage Masters.

Orage masters teams matt phillipi

Skiing’s only no-trampoline-required competition is almost upon us. It’s a sad state of affairs that we only have one anti-comp style event, but for this weekend it beats the shit out of pretending to care about who is lipsliding Jon’s cannon box. This is the sentence where I’d like to say that I’m hopping on a plane for Whistler tomorrow and I’ll be live streaming the event using some technology I don’t know about. However, until the iPad reinvents the internet and makes me a millionaire, the BroBomb travel budget is tapped for this winter. I hear user-generated content is the new thing, so feel free to film the event for us. We’d love that.

For the uninitiated, this thing goes down in a team format and the following will be represented: Amplid, Armada, Line, Volkl, K2, Surface, and Salomon. Each team has provided some hints towards their themes, and Twitter tells me that Surface will be rocking it Dead Head style. For those still unsure what to do for a theme, let me help:

tiger costume The topical theme always wins at Halloween parties, and the Masters is no different. So what you do is go with the all-too-obvious Tiger Woods theme. You’ll need one fuzzy tiger outfit, one angry-blonde wife with a golf club, and a gaggle of backup bimbos. It’s cheap, easy, and even Canadians are likely to get it.

Telluride Tuesdays with Garrett usually runs in this spot, so we’ll end it with a quote from our favorite person who is banned from Canada:

“I don’t really have the connections, but Pat Bridges hooks me up and I can go ride any snowboard superpark, but yet I don’t get invited to any ski shit, you know? I don’t get it. I would love to see what would happen if I got invited to something like the Orage Masters. I think Jay (Levinthal) and those guys are like, ‘No, no Garret you don’t compete, we don’t want you to.’ But on the inside I’m like, ‘I want to show what I can do.’”

So Canada, stop being so lame and let bygones be bygones. LINE, you need to find a way to get Garrett to the Masters, skiing needs this.

Apr 12

Sean Jordan at Big Boulder Slush Park

By Jon Hartley4 Comments

Sean Jordan has been off winning comps all winter, but you’ve gotta go home sometime. The crew takes it to Big Boulder Park’s setup in record setting spring heat.

Apr 08

BroBomb Content Vote: Don’t Complain Later

By Jon Hartley11 Comments

Unless you live in Utah, or a few other lucky locales, it’s summer out there. BroBomb has plenty of summertime content planned with Dunfee in South America, late spring events, and some cool how-to’s. But there is one area I want every reader’s input on: should we post edits or do a couple articles on summer pastimes? If that answer is yes, then we also want your input on what warm weather stuff should grace the face of our site. So take a look at this all-too-obvious example of the possibilities, and then scroll down to cast your vote:

Apr 07

Telluride Wednesday? Still Garrett

By Jon Hartley2 Comments

100_0386

Wednesdays are good too. Our weekly discussion with Master Garrett continues with a discussion of skis, the ancient arts, and summertime fun.

Goals?

It feels like I’ve jumped away from the scene of the ski industry, but I feel like I’m actually building a different level for my skiing career. That’s the backup plan. I don’t know if I’ll ever become pro, and I don’t want to be pro. I don’t even like that word, it’s just a label. I want to be a master of it, a full-on ninja. I want to totally figure it out so I can do it forever, as long as I can ski.

You could be skiing’s first ninja.

My name means “warrior” and I’m out there battling the mountain, you know? It could easily take my life.

What skis are you on now that the Anthem and Elizabeth are gone?

I’m on the Mastermind now. The first couple runs I was just like, “Whoaah, edges!” I could have died, but then I just found a file and took all the edge off. Then it was fun, but just doing a noseblock felt different. They’re a little bit skinnier and it took me a second to find out where my balance point was on ‘em. Then they just felt like a regular ski, but I haven’t ridden on a ski that narrow in a long time.

I’ve got a pair of EP Pros too, I’ll mount those up as soon as I get some more bindings. Those things are like my broadsword. I’ve got my katana, and then those are my broadsword.

I love this ninja analogy, you’ve really thought it through.

I don’t know man. I love Japan, I love that culture, and it’s fun. Ninjas are dope, and they did exist.

Did you study any martial arts?

No. I got kicked out, I think. I kicked a kid. I was young and I never did very well in karate classes or anything like that. I wasn’t much of a person to follow authority. I couldn’t do teamwork either; I did terrible in soccer. I’ve never been able to do anything team oriented—basketball and baseball, I did not fit in at all.

I was kind of an outcast in middle school and high school and just found sanctuary in the mountains.

How about the summers?

Most people surf or do something like that for their escape. I like to fly fish, because it’s not extreme. You can just hang out by the river and learn the ways like Siddhartha.

Apr 06

Happypro Easter to You

By Jon Hartley2 Comments

Chris and Jonas unite to bring you a Happy Easter from Hemsedal.

Apr 05

No Pay Monday, From My Inbox

By Jon Hartley1 Comment

I’ve received a bunch of emails over the past few months from people who are interested in writing about skiing. As a ski blogger, I obviously understand that drive, but to date only the incomparable Ryan Dunfee has gone from email contact to full-fledged BroBomb contributor. So what I’m writing here is an open call for submissions on a particular topic:

We’re looking for articles about the spring traditions at your local ski area. I’m not talking about a pond skim and a duct-tape derby, everybody has those, I’m talking about something unique. Of course, if your mountain claims the world record for longest pond skim or some asinine thing like that, we’d love to hear about it. But I’d also like to see events like my local MayDay, and I’m pretty sure there are other mountains that put a park on a pile of dirty slush in May. If your local hill sucks and they don’t do anything cool, I’d love to read about the day you and your friends hiked the closed park and setup a rail.

All you’ll need is a camera to snap a few photos (or an edit if you’re ambitious) and somewhere around 400 words of story. Feel free to email me: jon@brobomb.com

blue last day

Apr 02

How to Drink and Ski

By Jon Hartley4 Comments

Drinking and skiing are a smart combination. Your choice of beverage might not be particularly clever, but we’ve all got to stay hydrated. So no matter what you’re sipping on, there are a few constants- 1: It’s unwieldy to carry a bottle while lapping the park. 2: You want your drink to stay cold. 3: Grubby little bastards are always trying to steal drinks.

I’ve felt the pang of loss when a stash of Sam Adams goes missing, and I wouldn’t wish that on any of you bastards. I’ve chosen some good hiding spots, and I’ve chosen some failures—here’s what I’ve learned.

okemo stairset

Be sure you don’t put your stash in a high traffic area. Every park has a few of these, and they tend to occur at the start of the jump line or right before a popular rail setup. This will probably be the first place you think of because it’s just so convenient. But you’ve got to realize, it’s convenient for those grubby little kids who would love nothing more than to chug your beer and tell the story to their friends the next day.
Beware of melt. Its spring and you’d be surprised how quickly your sixer will go from cozy and cool to hiding in plain sight.
Stairsets tend to have nice hollow, shady, snowy gaps under them. Be sure to keep rule #1 in mind, because stairsets can tend to occur in high volume spots. However, if you’ve got an out of the way setup, just dig a tiny tunnel right under it and enjoy ice cold brews for the rest of the day.
All of the above issues can be avoided if you just keep a cooler in your trunk. This isn’t an option if you’re forced to park in the gaper lot, but for help with that issue I’ll refer you here.

high life in the blue mountain parking lot

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For April, 2010