Ski news is serious, but real news is seriouser. As the premiere web-only ski media outlet without forums, we feel it’s our duty to tell you about this oil spill: there’s a shit ton of oil spilling. It’s pretty easy to assign blame (the British, all of Europe, dolphins, etc…), but we’re not here to play that game. BroBomb is about solutions, and we’ve got a few that those chuckleheads haven’t tried yet.
1. Enlist some outerwear companies. From my Google-based research I’ve determined that ice and slush have thwarted just about every attempt to put a big metal condom on the pipe. Who makes more claims about resistance to slush and ice than outerwear companies? Make a giant neon tent dome out of your 2011 outerwear offerings and send that sucker down there. Think about the publicity! If not, you could always just send us some samples and we’ll shoot a garden hose at them. We’ll call it a tie.
2011 SAGA or 2012 First Drop?
2. Send Dumont and Wallisch down there; I hear Team America has a way with “leaks” (thank you, thank you very much).
3. Read the NS coverage of JOSS aloud to Jon until his head swells to the exact diameter of the pipe. For micro-adjustments simply compliment his car until you’ve got a tight seal.
4. Send in the Hand Warmers. My mom gets me a bunch of these every Christmas and I never end up using ‘em. The oil is probably so eager to get out because it’s tired of being at the bottom of the cold ass ocean. Who wouldn’t trade that in for a balmy day of oozing around the beaches of Louisiana and Florida? Give the oil some hand warmers and it might not be in such a hurry to get out.
5. Top kill relief well the BP oil spill in the Gulf with next generation iPad iPhone reviews of President Obama’s solution before the oil gets to the Florida Keys. That sentence makes no sense, but it should drive tons of Google search traffic. We’re in this for the money kids, and it’s all about Search Engine Optimization.
This is gonna kill it in Google image searches.
[...] And it’s the first Wednesday of the month and you know what that means: half price growler refills at Mammoth Brewing Company. Heading out of town? No problem – the growlers travel well. Lastly, if the nightmare of the oil spill has you down and you want to check out a lighthearted solution to the problems, from a skier’s perspective, check out BroBomb’s blog. [...]
Damn, Jon. I guess now that it’s summer and skiing is over the only thing you have left to grind is your axe.
You guys are delivering so hard that Santa Claus is getting jealous.
[...] disaster ever in the US, and no one has any clue how to fix it. Make that almost no one. In fact, BroBOMB has offered up several legitimate and brilliant solutions to the crisis, such as: Enlist some [...]
It just boggles the mind how long it took to finally make even the smallest amount of headway, BP left a lot to be desired in the whole affair. What I find hard to believe is that a multinational cooperation like BP, with over a 100 years experience in the business, couldn’t do more. We really do give companies like them far too much credit. This whole situation is really sad. So many people have lost their livelihood because of this.