Over the course of the past 19 months I have lived in/on tents, couches, guest beds, floors, crawlspaces, basements, attics, RVs, snowcaves, and real caves throughout various continents. Skiing is to blame for this lifestyle.

My most recent home of 3 months, a gently used 24′ Winnebago Majestic, provided me a few lessons about life. Here the lessons to live by, specifically for a life in a House On Wheels:

-Stay clean

-Don’t even think about trying to have a girlfriend.

-Turn off small electric heaters before exiting RV.

-Accept that the RV will be cold upon your return.

-Understand that all belongings could be stolen or incinerated upon your return.

-Open windows to prevent mold.

-Realize that, at any given time, people can be peeking into your living, sleeping, and/or dressing room.

-Dress warm, pretty much always.

-Keep the door closed, at least the screen door.

-After showering, dry off. Completely.

-Always have a sweatshirt, hat, and gloves handy.

-Keep your bicycle somewhere safe.

-Separate unit into “rooms.” Refer to your rooms in everyday conversation, desperately masking your pathetic life.

-Keep nothing of true value.

-Don’t be afraid to sleep elsewhere for a night, 2 nights, or a month.

-Insist that guests remove footwear and place on doormat.

-Provide doormat.

Brody’s casa

-Keep slippers by door. When inside, have slippers on feet. When leaving, trade slippers for shoes at the doormat.

-After camping/climbing/kayaking/touring/skiing/hiking/traveling, thoroughly clean, dry, and organize every little thing.

-Take the extra second to put things away where they belong.

-Keep a plethora of water handy since running water is non-existent.

-Don’t drink any fluids for 3 hours before bed.

-Do anything to avoid getting up to go to the bathroom during the night. See previous tip.

-Travel. Actually, do anything to spend extended periods of time elsewhere.

-When tapping into neighbor’s electricity, be sure extension cord is not going to trip any backyard wanderers.

-Four comforters is the absolute minimum.

-Remember that the space beneath the RV is as good as any ghetto self-storage unit.

-Refuse offers to race your friends’ Vanagons, VW buses, or other small, pathetic, and laughable wannabes without hookups.

You can check out more tales and tips from Brody’s nomadic meanderings at his blog.