Mountain Bike

This is as close to skiing as you can get in the summer: shredding rowdy lines downhill, motorless, expensive, full of nerds (for mechanics this time), participated in by a ton of white people, and fun as hell.  It will also do wonders for getting you in shape for next season.  But although you can spend upwards of seven grand on the dopest mauflocking rig in town, there are still plenty of much cheaper and still good bikes around the Craigslists these days.  I am just getting back into it on the first mountain bike I ever bought in 1998.  Straight-up Clinton era goods.

Vice Magazine

If you’re one of those nerds who is stoked school is out but can’t help the fact that you want to learn something, watching the free documentaries available on Vice Magazine’s Youtube channel is sure to blow your flippin’ mind.  You can have your perception of reality change by learning about the dubious tradition of bride kidnapping in Kyrgyzstan from a nerd with expert dry humor, the insane yet hilarious practice of young men practicing for marital love-making in Catholic Columbia by having sex with female donkeys, or the cannibal warlords of Liberia!

Skateboard & Surf

Of course, many of you are busy spending your summers re-establishing your action sports reputation by getting off skis and onto a cool boardsport.  Everyone knows that skateboarding gets the most point and is the most readily available, but you also have to be a teenager with good ankles to survive shredding pavement all day.  However, those looking for a more low-impact summer past time choose to take to the coast and surf their brains out… on the waves that do not exist.  Summer surfing on the Pacific generally produces small waves but can light up with the summer South swell, while East coast surfers must resist the urge to hang themselves as weeks after weeks of almost-warm water and dead flat surf pass by until a hurricane nearly destroys everything in sight and leaves a few days of solid surf in its wake.  Thankfully, if you’re trying to live the ultimate American summer surf road trip, there are thousands of spots you can drive to and not get waves at this summer.