Nick Goepper with another volley in the battle for your hearts and minds. Wood rails, one footers, nose butters, creative transfers, and not a single dub. WHAT MORE DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM HIM?? Haha. Can’t wait to read the comments on this one…. and it turns out, I didn’t have to wait long, as reader Sam Turner put together this great little addition below:
Goepper Campaign Advisors Introduce Humanization Initiative
Hearts and minds, people…
Outraged by the ostracism of Humanoid Nick Goepper by the collective freeskiing community, those closest to the renowned comp jock have initiated a program of humanization aimed at winning over the hearts of the multitudes of young people who would rather watch dirty hillbillies from Vermont eat pizza than have anything to do with the Orwellian Alpha Goepper. The program was launched in secret late last year, and came to the forefront of freeskiing attention in early January, with the release of Nick’s “Backyard Slopestyle” edit. Speculation at the time was that the Goepper camp was trying to curry favor towards their star by showing that he did indeed come from a Midwestern home, and not a Bavarian auto factory. The edit achieved mixed reviews and consensus remained amongst grumpy internet dwellers that Goepper was trying too hard to be STEPT.
With the backyard jib avenue explored and presumed fruitless, those in Goepper’s inner circle deliberated on what to do next. After over a month of careful planning, they released the above edit under the clever and meteorologically-relevant title Calm Before the Storm. Goepper’s publicists did not wish to repeat their backyard failure here and thus developed a series of focus groups to determine exactly what floats kids’ boats these days. Their assessment of popular ski culture boiled down to these key points:
1. Hey, seems as though NOT skiing with poles is kinda neat!
2. That guy who won big air at X sometimes grabs his skis even when he’s on the snow.
3. Let’s get a couple of shots of Nick falling; apparently immaculate style and precision makes people uncomfortable. And while we’re at it, let’s show them that Nick is a man of the people – I hear “folks” is colloquial and appealing.
4. That fellow from Vermont with the teeth slides rails on one foot! Let’s try that on for size.
While their effort was valiant, Goepper’s spin doctors still came up short. Initial reaction from Newschoolers and other ski aficionados was bemused at best, with most observers wondering if Goepper was perhaps auditioning for the next season of the B&E show. Further issues included a distinct lack of any other living beings in or around Carinthia, which indicates that Goepper still prefers a private shoot free of plebeian onlookers. Also, the filmmakers were unable to resist the temptation of adding several shots of Nick spinning to win over top of a ludicrous Autobot-like Red Bull truck. A spokesperson for the Goepper campaign indicated frustration with the “unwashed masses’” negative reaction, but insisted that the program would be seen through to its prescribed end.