Ryan Dunfee of BroBomb.com covers how to establish dominance within your backcountry group by feigning a drug addiction, and how to abuse religion to bless your ski day. Click for the full review of the SkiLogik Bomb Squads featured as a prop in the video.
Archive
Hardgoods fo’ life! Photo courtesy of/stolen from SIA 2012
While keeping a low profile, BroBomb used all of 2011’s ad revenue, $36.78, to buy a cab halfway to the airport to fly to Denver to get to SIA. You didn’t see us at the show? We took over Ninthward’s booth for a couple hours while they wandered off and skipped all their buyers’ meetings to eat mushrooms in the bathroom. We gave away free goatees to anyone we saw wearing a Flexfit hat at a crooked angle. Since then more than half our views have come from the Denver TapOut MMA league, and I just got a card in the mail for a free neck piercing next time we’re in town. We also stole Brooke Geery’s tallboy when she passed out in a hallway. We shared it. It was way more fun than the chardonnay the nerds from Kjus were sneaking media folks in their booth.
If you didn’t see us, that’s okay; we were all disguised in Beardhats anyway. If we’d been recognizable, we wouldn’t gotten hit up way too many times by pro skiers praising our genius, and we wanted to get some real work done instead. We actually just spent the entire time snaking Camel lights from Jon, but after looking at Newschoolers’ copious 2013 product photos, here’s what we think are the five hottest trends for next season:
Area 52. Hot Possie. Tight pants. Handplants.
Like clockwork, Candide Thovex, the French Michael Jordan, has changed ski sponsors. While Candide has remained on Quiksilver for as long as he’s been skiing, the rate at which he changed ski sponsors has continued with such regularity it’s a small industry joke. First Dynastar, then Salomon, then Rossignol, then Coreupt, and now Faction Skis. Candide has done his part to keep the sponsors within the Euro zone, but has changed sponsors as often as Winona Ryder shoplifts, usually leaving the former in his wake with unsold Candide pro models. What do you think?
This video, “Cold Faces” from North Cascade Productions is an appropriate venue to launch the latest BroBomb poll. Answer true to yourself so we can sell the data to Newt 2012.
Skiing so rad and French it will melt your face… into a baguette.
Dunfee covers proper avalanche beacon training techniques, how to display your backcountry knowledge, and reviews two key pieces of Backcountry Access gear. Whether or not BroBomb has enough credibility to venture outside of tight pants mini-park opinionating is up for debate.
Backcountry Access
Given BroBomb’s collective ignorance of all things backcountry (with the exception of one developing scholar), we’re pretty sure it’s illegal for us to recommend anything that has anything to do with wilderness survival. But not having a clue doesn’t mean you can’t have an opinion; here are our thoughts on two key Backcountry Access products you’ll want to look into this winter.
Words by Garrett Russell
Words are fun. You put them together and they make sentences. If you put a lot words together they will either make a run-on sentence or possibly yet, a paragraph. They can even change your life if worded properly.
This kind of skiing can really happen… if you are disciplined enough. Courtesy of Jeffrey Kohnstamm
Well, it appears to be over. The extended snowless purgatory that has plagued much of the West Coast this ski season seems to be dying a sputtering, moist death with the jet stream pushing a slew of storms south towards California, Wyoming, Utah, and Colorado. But as a superstitious bunch, we can certainly imagine this all turning to rain if we do something as stupid as wax our powder skis or show up for first chair. We must maintain our collective discipline and ensure these storms do indeed deliver by engaging in the following ironic and delusory activities:
It is with great and unsarcastic sadness that we are reporting about the death of legendary women’s freeskier, Sarah Burke. While we love to hate on pipe jocks, Sarah has had an unrelenting hold on the Gold medal at almost every superpipe contest she entered, and we have absolute respect for her for that and for her outspoken efforts to better the inclusion of and participation in women’s freeskiing. As my coach at SMS (now Momentum) camp on the Whistler glacier back in 2001, Sarah was the first pro skier girl in a long line of pro skier girls that I had a huge crush on, and taught me how to ski switch onto rails.
Sarah succumbed to injuries sustained while skiing halfpipe at Park City, in which she ruptured her vertebral artery, causing a severe intracranial hemorrhage and putting Sarah into cardiac arrest. For a more complete report, read this post on Powdermag.com. Our deepest condolences go out to husband Rory Bushfield, the Burke family, and Sarah herself. May she rest in peace and may all of us try and be just a little bit safer this winter.
