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Guide to Summer: Other Crap continued…

Tuesday, July 6th, 2010

Plan B: Lacrosse Camp

If you haven’t found your athletic calling in a real sport, why not try lacrosse? Despite its Native American origins, “lax” now more closely resembles the bastard protestant son of hockey, soccer, football, tennis and jai alai. Lacrosse, much like skiing, revolves not so much around the raw talent of the athlete as in football or soccer, but around the number of camps and summer leagues you can cram into your summer, as well as your proximity to Darien, Connecticut.  Lacrosse is the identity crisis of the American WASP laid out bare on a grass field, combining elements of bravery (getting bashed with a metal stick while trying to run), cowardice and formal attire (it’s okay to suit up in your seersucker shorts after the game and a good dip sesh’), equipment confusion (how many fucking pads am I supposed to wear?  Less than hockey, but more than football?), purely arbitrary inventiveness (running around while “cradling” a ball in a modified tennis racket attached to a pole), and ample chest-beating, all while letting you hang out with wealthier sluts than the football and basketball crowd.

All they're missing are some cool lanyards.

All they're missing are some cool lanyards.

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Guide to Summer: Other Crap to Do

Thursday, July 1st, 2010

other crap

As a proud SASS employee, Ryan knows a thing or two about summer. Unfortunately, he also knows a thing or two about getting stuck behind in North America while all your homies slay pow in Argentina. Out of heartbreak comes, well, semi-aggressive ideas for a summer spent in the northern hemisphere. Enjoy!

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Guide to Summer: South America

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010

GuideToSummerSouthAmerica

Disclaimer: Ryan Dunfee works for SASS, and is therefore officially pumped on every last one of you who will be attending camp this summer. He also must officially recommend that you do the opposite of most of this advice, as he would like to keep his job.

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Guide to Summer: Be the Crazy Kid

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

SummerAnarchy

When I went to Momentum (formerly SMS) in 2001, the crazy kid in my group was a ripper that barely said anything but was throwing Lincoln loops over the big jump and schooling the entire under-16 population of the camp. He then got caught smoking weed in his room right after he smoked me in the camper slopestyle contest. I got moved into first place by default, but it more firmly established his reputation as the camp crazy. The other option was to scorpion yourself, by repeatedly trying backflips, whenever Sarah Burke could see you. During my session, George, the British socialite from Hong Kong who only skied at Vail, did just that.  Unfortunately, his accent and social pedigree deep-sixed his possibility of becoming a true badass, and his efforts to destroy his body were completely for naught.

Fortunately, there are several ways for the visiting pros to notice you that have little to do with skill (which is way too much work these days anyway).  As long as you have a decent 540 under your belt with some bang to it, several options exist to bolster your personality cult at Windells, COC, Momentum, or any of the other glacier camps.

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Know Your Roots: Classic Ski Movies

Wednesday, May 26th, 2010

Know-Your-Roots-Header

Any skateboarder worth his Mark Gonzalez knows that their favorite skater’s favorite video is Plan B’s Questionable. Featuring skateboard lifers like Matt Hensley, Rodney Mullen, Pat Duffy, and Mike Carroll. Every skater cool enough not to wear a helmet at the skatepark has seen it.

I was stunned when I found out that my twenty-something co-worker at SASS had seen the light and decided to “become a freeskier” without having seen 13. That’s like me seeing the light and deciding to become a freeskier without having seen State of Mind. I remember watching 13 on the last day of the season when I was in middle school; it was my first time seeing a twin-tip ski, and by the time I’d seen CR (RIP) nearly stick a cork 1260, I was out in the yard trying to slide a shovel handle on my mogul skis.

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The Michelle Parker Interview

Thursday, May 13th, 2010

Michelle Parker, initially a Tahoe jib rat, was one of the first female skiers to really try and send tricks in the backcountry, and still has one of the most confident-looking styles in the good ‘ol BC.  No estranger to the comp scene, Michelle has Dew Tour podiums under her belt as well as enough knee injuries to fund her surgeon’s car payments, mortgage, and private school tuition for the kids.  Michelle is core as it gets, and has injured herself landing on rocks, off jumps, and over-rotating a 360 off a 60 foot cliff way before any other girls would even look over the edge.

After a solid year off the hill Michelle is “hungry,” both to get back to slaying it on her Hellbents and also for the organic roasted corn pudding she has spent the winter perfecting.  Michelle, creator of the healthiest munchies in the snowsports industry, has been skiing lightly since February and took the time to answer some questions from BroBomb.

michelle waterphoto: Joe Carlino

BroBomb: There are a number of female skiers, Ingrid Backstrom, Kaya Turski, Sarah Burke, and yes, Michelle Parker, whose skiing just blows you away, but for a long time, the talent dropped off relatively quickly. It didn’t seem like a lot of new blood was getting infused into the group, but now it seems like we’re seeing more up-and-comers. Why do you think women’s freeskiing took so long to grow?  Were all the good athletes snowboarding or racing?

Michelle: That’s a tough question. I think that the ladies you mentioned have been continuously progressing and there are a lot of hungry young girls out there right now. Being that I was injured for the last year, I got to judge some female competitions and I was really impressed with some of the up and comers throwing down. It seems, to me, that every company has their girl. They’ve got that one girl that represents them. At least that was how it went for a while, not leaving much room for the young talent to move in a make a mark on the industry. Aside from the lack of female competitions (that’s a big one) it’s incredibly difficult for girls to get film parts and not because of lack of talent or commitment. They are out there and when the opportunity presents itself, they throw down!! It’s just a shame there aren’t  as many opportunities (like a U.S. Open).

michelle parker cliffphoto: Collin Wiseman

Biggest female-specific grievance about being a pro skier?

Being that this is a sport dominated by men or boys (in many cases), I tend to flock with them, travel with them, and spend every waking moment with them. That’s all fine and dandy because I appreciate every one of them, but men/boys have this annoying tendency to snore. It’s okay with me when they snore in synch, but when it sounds like my brother trying to learn the French horn; I have to draw the line and request to sleep elsewhere. Usually the team manager takes care of that in advance and I’m okay with a little less sleep on occasion…I can deal. Really though, I mean really…I’m a pro skier and life is good.

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Quick Hitter from Jay Peak

Wednesday, May 5th, 2010

The east coast got stuck in a steady melt cycle, but last week Jay Peak broke the trend with two feet of fresh. Spring temps quickly returned, but Jay got the lifts turning for one final weekend. Dan and Dunfee converged on Jay for a mudtacular good time.

jay peakp: jaypeakresort.com

Steve Wright made the mistake of giving me lift tickets and a condo for Jay’s final weekend.  With the intent of burning our bridges as soon as they’re built, BroBomb set out to wreck the place.  We did some laundry.

Dunfee Jay laundry

Then we trashed the place with empties. Click to continue »

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Guide to the Ski Internet: NS vs. TGR

Thursday, April 15th, 2010

For the vast majority of the skiing population, days on snow are limited to weekends and vacations, with the bulk of the week spent in school texting the girl in the front row or at work complaining about your spouse.  Thus, many comb the internet for ski content to satisfy their vicarious cravings until the next time they click in.

In an age where even multinational corporations put so much emphasis on social media that they’ll pay some idiot to Tweet about iced coffee because they can’t figure out how to communicate in brief and misspelled spurts of grammar, your online ski persona can do as much to dictate your standing in the ski community as your actual skiing skills.  So take heed of the following advice, which will help you manage your internet skiing career from your first post on NS as a toddler to your last avi forecast on TGR as a crinkly, bitter, randonee-ing old man.

Newschoolers collage

Newschoolers

So you’ve grown old enough (7) for your parents to give you a MacBook, an iPhone, and that matching XXXL teal-colored suit you wanted for Christmas that sags on your 130 pounds like a wet mop.  You took some ski lessons way back when, but haven’t used your poles in any functional role since. It’s time to get online.

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Sporadic Event Coverage: STE Jay Peak Stop

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

jay peak freeride course

This past weekend, I headed to Jay Peak to meet Mike Rogge, who was running Ski The East’s Freeride Tour and the IFSA extreme competition at Jay.  After going on an extended diatribe making fun of Jon (BroBomb editor) and painting a picture of him standing in the park making fun of kids with baggy clothes while he cruises by in a jean jacket, leather pants, and feathers in his hair; Rogge suddenly changed subjects:  “Just write a positive article for once.”  Wow.  I’ll admit that in the increasing spite I’ve felt towards the world since writing for this blog, the idea of writing a purely positive article was a new and uncomfortable idea.  Could I go another week without trying to do harm to someone’s reputation in the ski industry?  Without venting there was no way I was going to be able to hold it together enough to be cheery on sales calls for SASS.  But thankfully I saw some performances this past weekend at the Ski The East Freeride Tour’s Jay Peak IFSA “extreme” comp that inspired me to positivity despite my ardent efforts to remain miserable.

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Sprung Break for the Poor: Northeast Edition

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

If you’re a college student with a spring break, chances are you’re gunning to do some drinking and some skiing this March. But if you’re not lucky enough to have a family that takes annual ski trips, or already spent all of your money this year drinking, there are a few options around the area to keep you shreddin’ hard and having a good time despite your gloomy financial situation. Here are a couple options:

The “all my TGR buddies went to Alta and I’m stuck at home with my Dynastar XXLs” spot: Magic Mountain

The Word: The recently un-shuttered Magic Mountain is about as straightforward as you can get: one red double-chair, completely open boundaries, and no stakes blocking off those tempting cliffs East Coast resorts always rope off to keep the joeys from airing into icy mogul fields and blowing their ACL’s. Magic is only open Friday-Monday and during the week if there’s a powder day (6”+), so trails and the woods stay pretty fresh. If you snag Redline first run with fresh snow you can send it off a bunch of cliffs, drops, and catdrops that sit right under the lift line, earning you double points from the AT-sporting TGR crowd that swear by their GoPros that Magic is the goods. As a bonus, you can see all the idiots at Okemo and Stratton waiting in line while you hot lap trees. If pulling out a knife and fake-wrestling in ski boots on the deck with your buddy after you’ve slammed four beers is your thing, you’ll find plenty of that quirky Vermont humor here.

The Deal: Mid-week tickets are $39, or weekends for $59.

The “all my rich buddies went to Breck and I’m stuck at home with mom’s car” spot: Mount Snow

The Word: The East Coast’s answer to Bear Mountain + Dew Tour course. The Nitro Express at Carinthia gets you top-to-bottom jibs, jumps, polejams, etc., etc. etc. on every trail off the lift, with the highlight being Nitro, the small/medium park that runs the length of the liftline with 20+ options to hit in a row. The wood park is nasty if you’ve figured out how to slide wood on skis or are Garret Russell. If you are indeed as hard as the “underground” hip-hop playing from your Skullcandy’s, the original Dew Tour course is open every day. If you’re the kind of guy that’s pissed Level 1 doesn’t just do park segments anymore, or are ripping off the tongues from your old basketball shoes and duct-taping them to your Salomon boots so you can afterbang like T-Fresh, Mt. Snow is your new kingdom. Any jibber worth their weight in tall tees needs to check this park out.

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