If I could have gotten my hands on that little Punxsutawney bastard, I would have asked him where winter’s been for the past six weeks. But I hear the Rockies are getting snow tonight…the rich get richer. What the hell are you gonna do?

Spread the wealth old man winter.

It’s funny cause it’s true.

We snowboard-types get to enjoy Torstein’s wit and flips all the time, but finally, he’s giving back to the ski community with this latest installment of “in Your Face” with Jossi Wells. If you’re offended by snowboarders acting stupid about ski terminology, don’t watch it. Other wise, enjoy. My favorite part was when Torstein called it “french frying.” Brilliant.

It seems that the artist behind JustCuriousArtBlog was commissioned  to make this totally awesome illustration of Tanner. It’s way sweeter than the actual photos, which have that desperate, bad-decision vibe all over them. But before you click through, you should know that cartoon Tanner’s wang is hanging strong.

Final warning, you’re about to see some verifiably highly embellished Tanner dong. Ok, you asked for it.

What we are looking for right now are people who have slept in their cars, camped at a mountain, or (very unlikely among readers of a park rat blog) lived in an RV/trailer during a winter. I realize that this is much more a part of the TGR crowd’s lifestyle than it is in NS world, but we have a dream that someday park rats will grow up and actually take on some of the cooler elements of ski culture, bumming being paramount among them.

So if you’ve got a cool setup in your car a la Erik Olson, or you’ve rigged up a camper and parked that sucker in a parking lot, we’re looking for a couple paragraphs describing the rig and where you’ve taken it (feel free to leave out secret coordinates), and a few photos.

If you think you’ve got a story to tell, email me: jon@brobomb.com

A few of you noticed a video a little while back that I submitted for a contest to be the Content Manager for the Association of Freeskiing Professionals, skiing’s new body that will oversee all the park and pipe contests in anticipation of the upcoming Olympics, where the Russians are surely already underway bulldozing ethnic communities to build the boardercross course. With only 13 entries and everyone of them taking their dedication to skiing through dumped girlfriends and lost jobs way too seriously, I was spurred to action. If you saw the video below, it was clear I made every effort to make myself out to be a social pariah with dubious credentials and a bipolar personality.

Well, I got rejected, and my two and a half hours of effort were for naught. I received this very morning this stern rejection letter from the Association of Freeskiing Professionals:

Ryan,

Your submission was top notch and it is so clear that you have a deep and genuine passion for skiing…and have a ton of contacts…in your other phone.
You are natural comedic talent. Love the dead pan delivery.

The AFP admires your passion and wants to work with people like you moving forward.

In the end, after weeks of agonizing over the decision, we went with a candidate we felt had more experienced in content creation.

But we would still like to keep you in mind as an AFP Correspondent. Would you be open to working with the AFP in some capacity moving forward? Please provide contact info and we will reach out.

Thanks again for all your work and desire to be a part of the future of skiing.

-XXX

From this rejection letter it’s clear that I either don’t have enough experience creating content or not enough karma on Newschoolers. While my strategy of ridiculing every other contestant in order to win was ultimately unsuccessful, the door is still open for me to seize the post of AFP Correspondent. While I may or may not take whatever course you, our dozens of readers, dictate, I thought I’d be a healthy exercise to get some feedback on my next move.

Dunfee went to the Boston Ski Expo Weekend, unlike the horde of snow-starved tourists gawking over “mid-fats” and ski poles that snap right into your bindings for easy carrying and street-cred-free style, it only took him 20 minutes to get bored enough to act like an amateur Masshole Revolutionary War tour guide and make fun of hippies.

We once made an edit with a Canon digicam that got 500 views. It must be discouraging to put something like this together and only get that many. Here’s to a few more. Good Friday to you.

One of my favorite ski journalists, Ryan Dunfee, has put himself in the running for that is being hailed as “the best job ever.” Through my skimming of the contest rules, I’ve determined it is actually an internship with a travel budget for the Association of Freeskiing Professionals, which sounds SUPER OFFICIAL. But I know Dunfee must want it, because he obviously put a lot of effort into this video, which after you watch, we’re sure you’ll click on over and vote for him FTW!

^^Click on that face to go make
^^Dunf’s dream come true.

Dear FIAT, we never knew you sponsored skiers. But we’re thrilled at the news. Given your reputation for greasy, unreliable, subpar vehicles, we would like to introduce Hot Possie. They are a perfect fit. The following is their season edit. It too is rather greasy, unreliable, and perhaps a bit subpar.

Love,

BroBomb