Well, the entries (all four of them) have all been in-boxed, and more than a couple of them (a couple being two) threw down your hardest bouts of sarcasm at Dunfee’s lagging ability to keep this whole operation afloat and appealing. But at the end of the day, the winner might just surprise you, since nobody knows who these people are anyway…
For the the soapbox category
It’s coming on down to the end of the ski season, and the spring fatigue is really starting to show itself. I (Dunfee) here can only muster the excitement to look for good edits to repost so many weeks in a row before my quality control starts to slip, and many of you have commented that as much has happened. Recent comments have contained such scornful remarks as “the bro bomb crap fest continues,” “Seriously, I would greatly appreciate the last ten minutes of my life back,” and “Get off max hills dick!” In the spirit of admitting our own weaknesses (losing the will to maintain quality on a blog we run daily for free), we’re (it’s the royal we from now on) are running a brand-new contest to let you dish it all out: The April Hate-pril Contest.
Think you troll good? Think you got some clever remarks to dish out about how bad our taste in edits is gotten, how lazy we are, or how much we’re obsessed with tight pants and apparently rollerblading? Prove it. Send up to 300 words, photos, animated gifs, videos, or other mediums of hate between now and next Wednesday to email@example.com and you’ll be entered to win a BroBomb prize package featuring the Mike Tee, the Facemask, and our Diecut Pack. Think of it like a crowd-sourced online roast of a website, or if you want to get personal, the main man/editor behind it. Hate away, nerds!
Hartley in some Utah powder. As opposed to his Retallack experience, he seemed to know how to ski it this time around.
I tend towards minimalism. I don’t particularly like “things” and I try to avoid accumulating extraneous possessions. I’m not hardcore about it, and I don’t have the requisite funds to decorate my house in a minimalist style, but I aspire to living with the essentials and subtracting the unuseful.
In that spirit, I recently attempted to achieve the elusive one-ski-quiver for the east coast rite of passage—the annual trip “out west.” I had fallen in love with the Moment PB&J at the SIA On-Snow Demo a few years back and got my hands on a pair with some help from those dudes from Reno. The PB&J is a likely candidate for one-ski simplicity because it’s narrow enough to be used anywhere (129/101/121), has some camber underfoot, and there’s sufficient tip/tail rocker to be considered a viable pow ski.
Dear Level 1,
You might be confused by this letter. I mean, wasn’t it just a month ago that we were all oh my god Level 1 finally resisted the urge to stroke ski bro egos, followed by a helping of thank god they limited the repetitive drone of giant jump build segments? That happened, right? Right! So what might we have to say now?
Well, the thing is, you’ve made one of your better movies in years, BUT that doesn’t mean we’re actually happy over here at this fictional place we call BroBomb. Will Wesson’s stuff in the extras was still better than anything in that whole (still very good, seriously, we all did like it) damn movie! So, let’s just say this isn’t your opus, this isn’t your crowning achievement, but it’s a start down a road. But you damn well better keep walking that road because, well…progression, I guess.
I guess what I’m saying is that there’s still shit tons of room to improve. And since we’re 100% confident of our influence on all that happens within this strange little world of skiing, we’re going to make a few demands:
1. No more giant versions of things one might find in a regular park. Either your skiers can make normal stuff look cool or they are boring human beings. It’s as simple as that. Taking some sort of rainbowy box and doing nothing with it other than making it all huge and shit might make sense in a room full of ski jocks, but to everyone else it’s just gimmicky and regressive.
2. Dunfee already touched on this, but it bears repeating: If someone gave you the impression that we all wouldn’t watch a full segment of JP Auclair doing WHATEVER THE HELL HE WANTS…well, punch that person and never listen to him again. If JP says to you, “I want to spend two minutes of my segment recommending fine wines to pair with the choicest Quebecois cheeses,” just nod your head and go with it. The man’s a treasure, we will all love it.
3. You brought us Eric Pollard without the heavy hand of Nimbusery weighing everything down, and for that we are grateful. To improve on that you will need to follow my directions carefully. First, call him up and say that you’re planning a trip to whatever hippie soul skiing mecca all you brohemians are jazzed up about this year and you’ll be meeting up and leaving from SLC. Second, do not book that trip and instead threaten him with bodily harm if he doesn’t tag along with Will Wesson on whatever wacky urban/park extravaganza he has planned.
To get to the point, we want to see less gimmicks, more JP, and Pollard having fun on park and urban shit again. Sorry for all that filler.
That’s it really. Thanks.
Three members of the extended BroBomb familia spent last weekend at southern Vermont’s finest park hill—Mount Snow. For whatever reason, this park tends to draw a disproportionate number of skiers as compared to snowboarders. This being the weekend of the Carinthia Open, it was even more packed with skiers than usual. Therefore, I will use this trip to extrapolate large, over-general statements about the state of skiing. Enjoy.
Fun is good. Although it’s also a band, which is not very good (but that one song from the Chevy commercials is pretty catchy). But the real breaking news out of Mount Snow this past weekend is that skiers are having it. Fun, that is.
The spark is gone. Something happened and quite frankly, I don’t like it. I (and 10 other people) used to tune into BroBomb for insightful commentary on ski culture, call outs (of the non-G.N.A.R. variety), and retrospective pieces that reminded me that skiing was way cooler ten years ago. Now all I see is a bunch of edits from Jon’s tight pants wearing friends and Dunfee posting the stories Powder and TGR didn’t accept for their sites. So my question is, what happened?
Here are three non-researched theories on why BroBomb is in the shitter.
1) Jon stopped skiing. With the snow levels in Pennsylvania almost reaching negative 20 inches, it’s understandable.
2) Jon got a real job and didn’t tell anyone. This is doubtful but hey, it could happen.
3) Maybe the site doesn’t suck and my headband has been awesomely strapped to my head too long. Either way, this post is in no way a pissed off response to Jon’s post a few weeks ago about someone getting me a hat. There’s no way I’d do something “sucky” like that.
*Note* If you got through this post and feel like you wasted the amount of time it took to read 200 words, here’s an Eric Hjorleifson edit (after the jump). Today is his birthday. Happy Birthday Hoji.
For all the environmental talk you get from all kinds of granola big mountain skiers and ski companies, you don’t hear any come out like Scotty Wittlake and call out the Olympics for being so damaging environmentally and economically. Where is Mark Abma and other socially conscious skiers on this issue or are our big-name skiers scared to upset their big money sponsors like Salomon who will be sending teammates Bobby Brown and Simon Dumont to the Olympics?
Press release- Philadelphia PA USA, August 22, 2011.
BroBomb, maker of snarky web shenanigans, welcomes Ben Pruess as the new CEO of Holden Outerwear. We have always been big fans of Holden and have widely bitched and moaned about how ski companies don’t offer anything that actually fits. In addition, we’d like to thank you for filling up our inboxes with three different press release mass emails about this same person. He seems like a real mench.
At Holden, even the CEO gazes thoughtfully into the distance.
Like Apollo, the Spirit Bear and Guardian of the Great Spirit, we awaken! We’ve spent our summer getting really into First People’s Mysticism, and due to an early morning spirit vision induced by a drink of fermented berries and the urine of a pregnant goat, this site will no longer be all about hate, sarcasm, criticism, and the occasional Simon Dumont joke. No, it will be about the spiritual journey of our heroic Rastamen as they climb the heights of Mount Olympus and add spins to every flip and flips to every spin. Continue reading this entry »