The “internet rant” has a special place in BroBomb’s heart, since this site really came into existence after one too many posted or written and then unposted rants on a certain ski community site. So here’s your chance to win a MOMENT Arlington kit and a badass ARCADE stretchy belt to keep your pants up.
Archive
For the the soapbox category
This week, ESPN dropped the bomb that it will be another two years before we see any new Candide footage. He’s so busy working on a Candide-focused Quiksilver film project, sure (we hope) to rival Travis Rice’s earthquake-level film, That’s It, That’s All (one of those snowboard movies every skier owns (haha Yobeat, yes, now that the chum is in the water you one-boarded mofos can feast)) that he simply can’t find the time to drop the Bec de Roses and win the Freeride World Tour again. Candide continues, after over a decade embarrassing English-speaking skiers, to keep us wanting more like the time you brought your dream girl home and she would only touch it.
I have to admit, you’ve made a lot of progress this month. We’ve seen edit after edit with surprisingly good music. Recovery is looking promising, but you have to make sure you have a group of people to lean on when you think you might slip up. When you think you could fall off the wagon, you should have group of friends to turn to like Subpop, Matador, Saddle Creek, Modular, etc. That’s why I want to introduce you to DFA Records.
Is there a skier more opposite the “Nimbus style” than Sammy Carlson?
Before opening this one up for debate, let me offer a little something in the way of a defense of my position: Pollard/Pep/Andy/Nimbus never published a manifesto on style, but IDEA was influential enough that they didn’t have to. The Manifesto de Nimbus of my imagination clearly states several rules. They are as follows:
1. Takeoffs should be carved. In an era of wide-leg, wound-up spins, this crew taught us that body position is important straight through the whole damn thing, not just in the air and post-landing.
2. Spin smooth or don’t spin at all (seriously, zero spins encouraged). If a spin requires a big windup and awkward twists in the air, it’s too much.
3. Skis can be crossed, but you better damn well have a good reason to do so. That one holds strongest for Pollard, but you know what I’m saying here: no mutes for mutes’ sake.
With ski halfpipe’s inclusion in the 2014 Olympic Games looking more and more likely, the voice of opposition, once a murmur, has begun to ring out. Conventional wisdom would seem to suggest that a nod from the Olympic Committee would only accelerate freeskiing’s meteoric rise from laughingstock of the action sports world to fastest growing segment of the snowsports industry. However, many of the freeski elite seem to be concerned about the larger implications of just such a shift.
For those of you keeping track of such things, about a month ago, viral video history was made. The Bed Intruder Song became the first web remix sensation thing to hit the Billboard Hot 100 charts. So basically we’ve entered an era where even ringtone pop feels contrived, and our most popular songs are just soundbites from the mentally unstable.
Just after this paradigm shifting event, the snow-edit world was revolutionized when the Bed Intruder Song was used in a snowboard edit, which to the best of my knowledge was another first. So in the interest of rather useless observations, please check out Will Wesson’s first-in-the-ski-world use of a web sensation in an edit. Nothing (except for everything) will ever be the same.
BroBomb: Come in; come in. Take a seat anywhere you’d like.
Ski Community: What’s going on here?
Just remember you’re surrounded by people who care for you and want the best for your life.
IS THIS AN INTERVENTION!?!?
Anyone even passingly familiar with European history knows all too well how our glorious sport of skiing came to be. With that, I’ll spare all 6 people reading this a detailed account of the events that ultimately culminated in Leif Erikson chopping down a tree with his bare hands and fabricating the first pair of gnar-sticks with no tools save telekinesis and stem cells.
Within hours after completing the first descent of K2—switch, mind you—Leif was pouring the tears of his close friend, Baby Jesus, henceforth from the Holy Grail all over Cleopatra in what is believed to be the first wet t-shirt contest ever held.*
Those divine tears that did rush over Cleo’s supple, supple bosom that fateful day were later mopped up by a lowly bar back by the name of Sir Shane McConkey. In what is inarguably the second most important step in the evolution of ski culture (the first being the development of a reliable treatment for syphilis), Shane combined BJT (Baby Jesus Tears) with Hi-C’s Ectocooler to give birth to what we have come to know as “PBR”, or Pabst Blue Ribbon. While the naming of this heavenly mixture was curious to say the least, Shane had, in a single stroke, concocted the official refreshment of skiers the world over.
If you look beyond the knee length tee-shirts and gun shaped hand gestures, there is one particular hip-hop movement that has drastically shaped the culture of skiing for the better. What is that trend? The mixtape. The personal mixtape (or edit) medium has been the fertilizer for the growth of current stars and the connection to the masses for established pro’s. Yet just as rock ‘n roll hasn’t embraced the hype machine that is the mixtape, big mountain skiing continually resorts to established production practices to broadcast to the masses. Where is the Sage Cattbriga-Alosa “If Jesus were to ski Alta” edit? Where is the “C & E Show” with Chris Rubens and Eric Hjorliefson? Where are the “Mark Abma Recovery Files”!?!
Just before last season I wrote an article in response to the dropping of an outerwear company that I judged to be somewhat uninspired. The gist of the thing was that the terms “rider influenced” or “inspired by riders” are excellent for your street cred, but really shitty if you’re looking to make something unique. You see, that particular company seems to have gotten input from riders who wanted nothing more than a Saga suit with a Siver front pocket. Nobody stopped to ask why “the riders” didn’t just buy a Saga kit or go shopping for Siver on Getboards.
I’m revisiting this theme because I just got done reading about a new company that is “bringing something different to the table” by being, you guessed it, “rider driven.” The impressive thing is that “the riders” are so predictable. Every time anybody asks them for input we end up with taller-than-normal length, bright neon colorways, and asymmetrical block designs.
