The web edit’s short form has nearly killed the “crash segment.” But Ryan Hackbarth and Whiteroom to the rescue.

1)  Find a small incline right outside the prime traffic area of your local base lodge.  (Head the warning that doing this at Killington will get your shit stole)

2)  Put your skis together, preferably so the brakes are supporting each other.

3) Put your ski poles together at a considerable angle (see photo) and lean them against your skis around the heel piece or wherever the center of gravity happens to be.  The points will need to be at a little bit of an angle to provide lateral stability.

4) Let ‘em stand, and voila!  Your rad dad rides are on full display.

You’re welcome.

“Ooooooooh I’m so sick of these!” Shut up, there’s room for one more.

Editor’s note: For the uninitiated, this (below) is what Cody really really does

Last week we posted a self-congratulatory item when we discovered that one of the chief authors of the ESPN Freeskiing blog, the curiously anonymous ESPN Freeskiing (Megan Michelson?), posted a web story doling out awards to their favorite freeski websites.  Newschoolers, one of freeskiing’s two most robust online communities (along with the TGR forums for bitter crusty old dudes), was not mentioned for its strength of content or community, but rather was awarded a measly second place for “Best Humor Site” behind yours truly, BroBomb.com.

“And BroBomb won ye the crown, and yea, there was much rejoicing in Germantown, Philadelphia.”

Newschoolers’s Doug Bishop (who seemed to miss that his site had won SECOND place) was extraordinarily pissed at this miffing of one of skiing’s great home-grown web successes, and his life’s work.  Mr. Bishop, as he is known widely across the industry, then made his feelings known both on his own website as well as ESPN Freeskiing’s comment field, hinting at some possible censorship by ESPN, saying “….OK, my comment keeps not getting posted.”

Humbug, I say!

And to top it off, who won the award for “Best Freeskiing News Site”?  If you wouldn’t have guessed it would be Freeskier.com, you’re apparently not alone.  The Newschoolers community, which I can only imagine to be the majority of Freeskier’s subscription base anyway, had nothing but contempt for the assumed illegitimate champion of the web.  Yelsel$, a veteran of NS’s forums with a karma score of 60084 and over 9,600 posts, had only this to say, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”  CasiusClay put it more delicately: “Not a big issue. If Newschoolers ran awards like this, the only thing Freeskier would win is generally having shitty ski reviews….”

 Yea, give the gentleman from Freeskier a tarring and a new asshole, I say!

Freeskier and ESPN are not alone in the village stocks, as the mob hurled tomatoes and moldy onions at Jon Olsson for his win in the Best Athlete Blog category and at the X Games for scoring Shaun White a perfect 100.  However, several members expressed more light-hearted feelings about the matter:

And, of course, skiing’s unavoidable population of nerds had to weigh in on an unrelated issue:

With emotions already charged given the trying ski season, we expect the flurry of ridicule and public gallowing to continue through the month.  What say, ye readers, ’bout this struggle of the bloggings?

Us too. So we asked MOMENT VP Luke Jacobsen about it. His answer makes some sense, and makes us sad:

“No snow for urban is tough. We didn’t want to make a bunch of park edits. We hoped to have more episodes but shit happens. Another one is in the works. A week or two out I think…”

So there’s hope.

What we need is our very own Jeremy Lin. Not a 6’3” Taiwanese-Chinese-American exactly, but that could work, too. What I’m saying is that we need a safely packaged (read: Christian) but racially unexpected hero to emerge. An evangelical-Inuit Tom Wallisch, perhaps?

On this one, I agree completely with Floyd Mayweather. Jeremy Lin is (Asian) unexpected (and Christian) and is therefore a media darling, and we need some of that magic in skiing.

So to wrap this up, if skiing is ever going to get top billing at the X-Games or waaaaaaaay more importantly, the Olympics, we’re going to need a little unlikely racial flavor. So somebody get down to Argentina, or post up at Ski Dubai, or just find the next Nicky Adams. (I don’t know Nicky’s religious affiliation, but just imagine a black-Canadian-Christian!) Nobody wants to see a white kid do more flippies than the white kid before him anymore.

Someone get this man a John 3:16 diecut

For those of you who can still stomach NS…does anybody come to mind? Is there some racially unexpected up-and-comer posting edits that are “ill” and “fresh” and “posi-vibes” and all?

So now that I’ve boosted BroBomb’s Baidu ratings. Have a nice day.

A few facts about the latest GPSYfeeling edit:

1) Given the lack of Francophonic talents on the BroBomb staff, we didn’t understand a word that was said.  Thank god those Brits were there at the end to tell us it was Valentine’s Day.

2) This was filmed on Valentine’s Day, which we can only assume is the first day it hasn’t snowed in Europe all winter.

3) The Tignes park looks pretty flippin’ rad.

4) Thoughts?

Grab your hat, your cat, and a loved one.  Time to reinvent the laws of momentum with Jeff Kiesel and Jack Borland.  Of the Yoke Collection, that is.

• Can somebody buy Powder Mag’s Mike Rogge a friggen hat? We get it—you have a sweet job and you’re all fun-in-the-sun all the time. But it’s not 1979 no matter how bad your magazine wishes it to be. Get a damn hat.

• Back by absolutely no popular demand…the Line/Amplid/Raichle boot that we will forever know as the late, great (skiboard-specific) Transfer. It will be called the Icelantic Stormtrooper this time.

Walk mode is BACK! Photos: NS

JP Auclair and the Sherpas inspire the first round of kids to actually ski down the street like we all dream of.