Ah, man. Being totally badass and shit!
It’s about this time of year we should be writing about summer camps and where you should spend all of your awesome money to ski. Assuming you are old (late 20’s) like us and would never get in an airplane to go ride park (other than Big Bear), you should definitely go ski powder in Argentina this summer with Garrett Russell and have a totally rad time scoring fresh lines for days on end and then drinking really cheap, great wine and red meat.
But now that I’m done giving a nod to my former employer, I’m here to present the first ever BroBomb Signature Session at Windells. Tailored not to the mobs of rich children who sweat bullets for FlexFit hats from their favorite ski company but for the aging everyman skier who totally sucks at park skiing now but feels entitled to stay in the scene because they saw 13 on VHS. This Signature Session is not so much to improve your skiing but to master your sarcasm and bitter outlook on life while being associated with skiing. Here are the 10 principal activities of the Windells/BroBomb Collabo Totally Signature Session for the (assumed 25+) Cool Kids Only:
1) Maintaining your “over-it-ness” in the face of hundreds of children and their unadultered joy and enthusiasm for skiing.
2) Walking away for a solo smoke break when all the kids are clambering over each other to secure a brand new sticker.
3) Napping or reading The Economist until the kids crash from 9 hours of non-stop activity and then practicing backflips in the foam pit while no one is watching.
4) Watching ski edits together long enough to get you pumped for the next day, but not long enough to make it seem like you’re actually entertained by other people skiing.
5) Casually meeting the pro coaches while acting like you have no idea who they are.
6) Afternoon sessions trying to prove to the children campers why their heroes are idiots.
7) History classes explaining why the history of African-American culture is actually very much separate from that of modern-day skiing.
8) Very sporadic sessions on the hill working on straight airs in the halfpipe, 360 grabs, and maybe a backflip. BroBomb campers will have a separate lunch-time barbeque spot where the cool coaches will come to escape from the campers and the BroBomb campers can drink beers and complain about being in the presence of children.
9) As the most important quality of an aging action sports participant is to “get it,” lift rides will be spent talking shit about the one dude in the group who doesn’t get it.
10) Dressing in mad tall tee’s, skiing in the back seat, then signing totally stoked kids’ foreheads with a Sharpie claiming you’re Tom Wallisch.
The first annual BroBomb Signature Session at Windells is taking place between the Nevergonnahappenteenth of July and the Inyourdreamsteenth of August. Sign up never!
Posted in: droppin science
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The Janky Films crew, a bunch of East Coast dirt bags who have been living the dream in Tahoe of late, is about as real as it gets. You won’t find their kit on any forum in Newschoolers because the shit they rock is so old and haggard most don’t even remember when they came out. This is real motherflippin’ life in a terrible season, Janky Style. According to my philosophy on the progression of skiing, they are winning.
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In historically unprecedented comments, President Obama has endorsed backseat skiing.In fact, he might even slightly prefer it to front seat.
It’s not that he’s mad at a guy like Joe Biden who is always “out over his skis.” I mean, he only “gently chided” him. But he probably just feels that Backseat Bob should have the same rights as Frontseat Fred. We don’t really get into politics here on BroBomb, but this is a pretty big deal for us. Where we live, most people on skis could probably be described as backseat-curious, if you will.
So this should come as a relief to park rats, weekend warriors, and closet backseaters everywhere. It’s finally OK to ski the way you were born to ski, without being ashamed.
Now is there the possibility that this is just some political stunt? Of course. I mean, this is bound to be popular in places like Breck and Big Boulder, as CO and PA are swing states. But let’s just enjoy the moment. OK, you cynical bastards?
Posted in: droppin science
Nick Hickling and Eric Norman went to Brighton. 50-50′s, straight-airs, and psyche-outs ensue.
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Jack Borland, West Coast Sessioning.
I happened to time my Mount Hood portion of my extended Cascadian odyssey towards a new place of self-reliance and understanding (i.e. a roadtrip by myself) with the beginning of the annual West Coast Sessions – a week of hanging with your bros and shredding park and making an edit, totally casually. The royal we got to spend some time with some of the cool kids and resent the others while working on straight-air grabs and hand drags off tiny shit. Here’s what We learned:
1) Ethan Stone is apparently the West Coast Sessions MVP already. If there was one question I was asked or overheard most consistently, it was “Where is Ethan?”
2) Famous person Tanner Hall was there with a few other people as Inspired as him, such as Henrik Harlaut and Phil Casabon. We only ever saw them in the base lodge, so we can only assume they were studying for their college-level ebonics class while everyone else skied.
3) One must be selective with their chairlift partners. While appearances can be deceiving, lifting with randos often meant suffering through minutes (yes, minutes) of mindless bro-dribble that slowly pound the outer cranium into a dumb pulp, rendering the intelligent human a twitching mess yearning for a classic novel to recover from the assault on the English language it just paid witness to.
4) Young white males are still hiding from any adult responsibilities in Government Camp, and mostly at the Summit Inn (Scummit for the cool people).
5) Abbreviations, and a personal favorite phrase of mine, “for sure,” are now dead. Don’t ask questions, just please abide. Long form speaking now rules the cool.
6) Quarter pipes are cool again.
7) The Janky Films crew is as real as it gets. Sleeping in cars, shredding on old Pocket Rockets and Rossi Scratch FS’s, crushing park.
8) Shane McFalls is totally Over It.
9) Team Yoke will (should) win by dint of being too cool for big jumps.
10) Famous person Eric Pollard and crew were totally obnoxious and woke me up in the middle of the night while I was camping at the base of Hood when they returned from absolutely crushing the backcountry and started blasting A Tribe Called Quest. Life must be good.
11) The stretch of highway 26 between Welches, Oregon and the Portland office of YoBeat is like taking a safari through the backyard of the weirdest cross-section of humanity in the country. And that only included one hipster on a fixie.
On another note, car camping at the base of Hood with an inversion layer and an Instagram account is awesome. The base of Hood has insane views, the inversion layer keeps things relatively warm at your 6,000 foot campsite, and your Instagram account helps you make your buddies with real jobs and sustainable income feel like losers.
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Jeffrey Kohnstamm got Sunday off from high school to come film the traveling talent who’s in town for West Coast Sessions.
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I doubt this is interesting to anyone, but whatever. I have a junk drawer full of random stuff and I scanned some of it.
(See item description below; top to bottom, left to right)
1. Unpaid Austrian parking ticket. I have a bunch of these.
2. Photo of Andy Parry, Will Wesson and Erik Olson on Mount Adams, WA during “Attack of the Sand People”
3. Ski ticket from Val D’Isere during TC’s first euro-trip.
4. Cartoon of LJ Strenio that I did while we were waiting for lost luggage.
5. Weird French ski ticket insurance form or something? Not sure what this is.
6. Back when you could e-mail your season pass photo I photoshop’d a mustache and suit on mine.
7. My family cross-country skiing back home in New York.
8. A collectors item.
9. Keys. The Toyota was my first car. I crashed it into a telephone pole three days after buying it.
10. A Garrett Russell puppet from the Traveling Circus season three intro.
11. Cole Drexler, stuck in the Salt Flats during “Summer Van-cation.”
12. Polaroid of my first trip to Mount Hood.
13. Bananas rule.
14. Will Wesson air freshener. These things smell.
15. IF3 2010 pass.
16. Las Vegas ski area day ticket. Inspired!
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I recently went back into an old harddrive and found a ton of my footage from 2005-2007. Lots of Syracuse, New York footage with Will Wesson, Erik Olson, Ahmet and Giray Dadali, Pat Cowan, Tyler Secrest and Ross Imburgia.
I’m not sure how much of this footage ever got put out anywhere (we never finished the movie “Pterodactyl Blood”) so I compiled a few of the shots from one of the most fun winters to date; mini DV tapes, actually snowing on the east coast, Siver Cartel, and plenty of rails. I Hate New York!
Posted in: randoms, Uncategorized
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