Much internet controversy arose after this edit was posted on Newschoolers late last week. The edit captures slope jock supahstar Nick Goepper jibbing one janky-ass setup in his hometown Indiana backyard. Many seemed to be confused as to how or why Goepper, who to many “core” skiers is the Park Jock Antichrist Who Has Come Hither To Destroy All Thing Core In The Name Of Contests And Olympics, put together an edit portraying his much-debated human side and authentic love for skiing. Of coure, the simple explanation is that Goepper loves to ski. But simple is boring, and we’d rather fuel some conspiracy theories with no basis in fact and see how many people take us seriously despite us telling them beforehand that they are made up and untrue.
The following rumors presented as questions are made up and untrue:
-First of all, is Nick Goepper REALLY from Indiana? We’re pretty sure he was made in a FIS-approved mold injected with Red Bull at Windells Academy, with a made-for-TV boyish face copied from an Old Masters sculpture. Red Bull then used their government contacts to create a false Indiana birth certificate, since the middle America farm boy rising up through the ranks to become a new-age Olympic ski champion is just too much for Bob Costas to not dedicate an hour special to.
-Did he even want to make this setup, or did his handlers, who we assume are the mysterious entourage of people watching him in the background of the video, build it for him and force him to ski it with a smile on his face via threats with a cattle prod in order to make him seem more down to Earth and ebb the flow of Antichrist claims?
-What will Nick Goepper do next? Post an edit of him skiing POWDER for FUN?!? Get caught hitting a bong with Michael Phelps??
-How soon will our readers knock us for using something as contrived as “Newschoolers controversy” for original content?
**BEST 180 OF 2012 CONTEST UPDATE: Lots of you sent in videos, which take a lot of time to want to watch. Also, several of you sent in the same clip of Will Berman, and will have 48 hours to find a new video. Check your e-mail. Hoping to get the next round of the contest up later in the week.