Olympics? Nah, We’re Good.

Jon Hartley — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:00:24 +0000

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE. Denver, Colorado. February 22, 2010— The Association for Freeski Olympic Competition in Superpipe (AssFOCS) would like to make the results of its recent emergency vote known to all interested parties. As you may know, our organization has been tirelessly pursuing the rightful inclusion of ski superpipe in the Winter Olympics since 2006. We have faced great opposition, but with great determination we have made amazing progress towards inclusion.

However, after an emergency text message vote last night, we have decided to immediately suspend all of our efforts. The change in the Olympic climate has happened so quickly that we are sure this will come as a great shock to all of you, but we offer these excerpts from members’ texts in order to explain the prevailing mood:

Jossi Wells- “F*ck that! Did you see the girl kissing that snowboarder’s bronze? I’d take my chances with those music video stalkers before I’d let her kiss my medal.”

Tanner Hall- “I’ve got a great clean pee guy, but no dreads or sagging pants? Cali P tell me mah nah gwan fokwidat mon. Oh and I get better girls in Retallack.”

Xavier Bertoni- “Huhuhuhu. Frenchy French French! Cette fille était laide.”

Greg Tufflemire- “Dude’s got great abs. What? I did a 1260 in 1999.”

Skiers decide local pro ho's are better. photo: TMZ.

BroBomb » pro ho’s

Olympics? Nah, We’re Good.