Many moons ago, old men everywhere declared “shaped” skis to be cheating. “It’s too easy,” they proclaimed from aboard 205cm aircraft carriers they called skis. Well a look around reveals that the old v-neck sweater, too-cool-for-a-hat generation has either given up or moved on to the big hill in the sky.

But ski manufacturers are still faced with billions of people across the world who do not buy their products. Could it be that they are too poor? Uninterested? Live in places where skiing isn’t accessible? Find sliding down a steep hill with giant slippery planks strapped to their feet to be less than appealing? Hell no. It’s obviously because skiing isn’t “automatic” yet. And automatic is all the rage these days. Automatic transmissions have obviously killed off the need for stick shift, and who doesn’t buy their lunches at an automat?

All the rage.

The demand that you actually do something while you ski is an egregious wrong being perpetrated against the skiing public. But have no fear! Rossignol is here, with “auto turn rocker.” So now when you haul your ass outside on a frigid day, bundle all up, and buy a pass for an amount that would get you a small car in India, Autoturn will save you from the worst part—actually skiing. According to the press release it’s so effortless that Freeskier even loved it, and we all know they stopped trying years ago.

Look at that smile. Not trying at all.

Here’s my pitch to you Rossignol: BroBomb loves this idea so much that we want to try these babies out. If you’ll send a couple pairs this way we’ll do you one better than some gear guide award…we will strap them on and not even try to turn the whole way down. Pure automatic, filmed the whole way. It’ll be bigger than Shaun White.

I ventured over to this WordPress back end as opposed to my own, because while my hate mongering towards skiers is mostly for show, I felt the video submission YoBeat received recently and the attached story may better be suited for the BroBOMB readership. Allow me to introduce Jeremiah Paquette, aka Jermagain.

Hopefully you enjoyed that little vid, as Jeremiah made it to prove a point: Snowboarding is easy, but skiing is easier. Apparently this was his first day shredding on two planks this season. But don’t worry, that’s not the good part of the story, or the reason I posted it. No, the real reason Jeremiah made this video is out of pure spite! You see, as Jermagain, he is a frequent commenter on REELcomp, a sort of extreme Youtube where kids post their videos and make fun of each other. Apparently, the kids trying to show off their skills don’t appreciate Jermagain’s subtle brand of hate-filled humor though, and he recently received this letter:

Hey Jermagain,

This is Reelcomp. I have been monitoring the comments being posted. I have noticed that you have been posting alot (sic) of “hater” comments. This has to stop. Snowboarding and skateboarding are progressive sports. This site is trying to progress the sport. People who receive these type of comments are taking it offensively. I understand if you are joking around, but a lot of users don’t see it that way. Plus they have all asked for you to post a video. We have yet to see any from you. Maybe you can show your skills… I’m sure plenty of users would like to see.

So this is a warning… We like it when people post stuff that is negative but has a point to it… We don’t appreciate people trying to bag all the time. So can you please stop.

REELcomp–

So this video is Jerm “showing his skills.” Since you, the BroBOMB reader are clearly more sophisticated when it comes to skiing standards than us hacks over at YoBeat, I figured you may have some insight to offer. Does this kid have the ski-cred to hate on whatever he pleases or should he hang it up and find a new hobby?