This might be the beginning of a recurring series, or it might be a once-and-done bitchfest. Either way, I present to you: Your Ass Missed the Mark (conveniently shortened to YAMs). I’m going to do my best to get that into regular circulation, so when you hear a bearded weirdie yelling “you YAMed it” from the lift, you’ll know I’m near.

Let’s get to the good stuff, this week’s YAMs award goes to two fine makers of over-thought, over-wrought outerwear: Sessions and Under Armour. We appreciate all the corporate dough you guys are throwing around to the shred world, but your asses YAMed it.

While the entire action sports community moves away from highly technical equipment and makes some effort to get back to functional basics, these guys were sitting in the lab figuring out ways to make shit more complicated.

Old Marketing Guy says to Old Product Designer: Hello old chap, last weekend I took my grandson to my third home in Vail, and guess what he did while we skied?

OPD: What in heavens is it old pally?

OMG: Well, he was listening to that rap music on his headphones. And on more than one occasion I saw him take off his glove and adjust the volume on the infernal device.

OPD: Good golly, no!

OMG: Yes, he didn’t seem to be bothered by it at all, but I think you need to make a jacket that interfaces with MP3 players in some complicated and expensive way to avoid such nuisances that don’t seem to bother anyone.

When these buttons control lasers, then we'll talk.