From an anonymous reader:
There’s some things you should know about me… As most of us head drearily towards adulthood, up mountains all over the world you will find an elite band of Peter Pans staving off real life in pursuit of a few more sweet turns. Addicted to the nectar of slaying groomers, and angulating to the correct degree, pity these fellows who in reality lie trapped in a bizarre snow globe of sin and vice, trussed up in a nice red jacket and pushed out to face the baying mob. Here are their secrets:
1. Despite what I say, I am never ‘stoked’ nor do I ever wish to be.
2. You falling over is not my problem, it is the second hour of the lesson now, you should be better at following me where I want to ski.